When you’re going through a breakup, the biggest thing to do is to let yourself feel those feelings because bottling things up will only make things worse in the long run. It makes it harder to get over the person when you ignore your feelings. It’s okay to feel sadness, fear, anger, resentment, and it’s okay to miss them, too. It’s all part of the process. Give yourself some time to get over this and understand the situation and your feelings. But eventually, you’ll have to pick yourself back up. You can’t just sit and cry over this person forever. Even if it hurts, you have to pull yourself together and learn to live without them.
The next step is to lose all contact with this person because if you continue to talk to them, then you are still leaning on them and giving yourself to them even when you’re not trying to. Losing contact with the person can show how good your life can be without that person and it will show you that you don’t need them to bring you down anymore. Make new routines and take them out of your old ones because they don’t deserve to be a part of that anymore. You can find new hobbies, rekindle your relationship with an old friend, or make a new friend. There are so many things out there you can try and things that can keep you away from this person that hurt you.
However, don’t try to force yourself into a new relationship, after a break up the worst thing to do is start talking to someone else to try to forget everything. You have to stop touching the wound, let it heal, and stop trying to add salt to it by talking to new people. Getting into a new relationship after just being in one is not only hurting you, but also the person you are talking to because you have unhealed traumas that will drain both of you. Usually after breakups, people tend to gain trust issues and start to overthink way more than before. When you’re constantly overthinking and they are constantly reassuring it will lead to an unstable relationship and a loss of trust.
The road to healing is very unsteady and not always easy but you will feel better after time. Some days you’ll miss them and still long for them and that’s okay because that’s part of healing. At times when you’ll have so many things you want to tell them, good or bad, something you can try is to write it down. Write a letter telling them everything you never got to say or even just how your life has been. But instead of giving it to them, do something with it like you can burn it, shred it, and throw it away. It helps to lose those feelings and say what you never got to.
Taking care of yourself is another great way to forget about them. Simply just prioritizing your self-care and your time can help you feel better about the whole thing and yourself. A great way to do this is to plan something nice for yourself, even invite some friends to go with you. I recommend people who will make you feel better and comfort you, that will help you forget about them.
Relationships are hard and break-ups are even harder but things will get better. It won’t always be easy. Stop trying to touch an unhealed wound, just let it breathe, give it time to heal, and after a while, you’ll forget it was even there.
